Identifying and Coping with Stress in the Workplace and at Home
Kathleen Fariss, Boon Coach
“Stress acts as an accelerator: it will push you either forward or backward, but you choose which direction.” Chelsea Erieau
We all experience stress at some point and it can manifest differently inside our bodies depending on where the stress is coming from. There are many areas of our life that can become stressful, even the simplest of situations can seem overwhelming when we are experiencing stress.
We can experience stress at work, like changes to a once familiar workflow, the pressures of performance, or ongoing stress that is associated with an industry like working in an emergency room. Stress at home can be as simple as dropping a cup on the floor by mistake, or as complex as becoming a new mother. Technology can be stressful when we get updates like a new phone or computer. There are so many areas in life where stress can come at us.
No matter where the stress comes from, it can get in your way of feeling and performing at your best. Listed below is some information to help you notice, identify, and label when you are experiencing the impacts of stress, and some strategies for moving through and coping with it.
The identification of stress is your first step. You might not always recognize or notice these signs occurring in your daily life. Remember, everyone is different, so keep in mind: how you recognize and experience stress, may be completely different from your peers or family members.
What is important is that you learn to recognize, label, and determine what your stressors are and what throws you into unhealthy levels of stress. Then, you can put proactive steps in place to move through that season or situation.
Some common indicators you might notice happening inside your body when you are experiencing different levels of stress are:
Waking up with or moving through your day feeling anxious
Not sleeping well, feeling restless. Not feeling centered or calm
Forgetting to do small things at home or work
Noticing a sudden drop in your energy, like your gas tank is empty
Getting headaches or migraines
Having stomach issues or feeling nauseous
Noticing you are getting sick more often
High blood pressure
Sudden or ongoing changes in appetite and/or weight
Creating stories in your head that are not true, overthinking
Trouble concentrating or completing small tasks like cooking, cleaning, or writing an email
Focusing on negative thoughts instead of positive ones
Feeling lost or in a daze, more robotic
Having low or no motivation to move work or home activities forward
Feeling fearful, consistent levels of anger or frustration that block you from showing up as your whole self at home and at work
Not being able to focus on daily tasks or work deadlines or procrastinating
Withdrawing from work or home activities that normally bring you joy
Feeling highs and lows, and not being able to dial into the channel others are on to be heard when you communicate.
The overall drop in performance at home and at work
A short fuse with self and others, which can easily can go to anger, sadness, fear, or hopelessness
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” Mother Teresa
Now that you have recognized the stress in your body, how do you determine where it comes from and how to cope with it?
Ask yourself or partner with someone to ask you questions.
Jot down your answers. “I feel fear when….”
Ask yourself, “What do I need today to start moving out of the way I am feeling? “What one thing could I do today to feel more clear?”
Learning is always in the pause. Pause, ask a question, understand where the stress is coming from, self-care, evaluate and move forward!
Celebrate the step forward. YOU matter!
Some coping strategies to consider:
Reach out and ask for support. Ask your employer what your benefits are from your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) and reach out to a few family members or friends so you can lean into your community instead of recoiling.
Give yourself grace. You may not have been raised to ask for support or feel worthy of it. YOU are and YOU matter. The world needs you. Grace, grace, and more grace.
Focus on what you can control. Your self-talk, your energy, your movement, and your fueling of your mind, body, and soul. Let the rest of the s**t go! If it doesn’t fit into your energy and self-care bucket, F*** it!
Let go of what you think others feel and think about you. It's none of your business as long as you are being kind to yourself and others. The only story in your head that matters is how you are now choosing to care for yourself so you can show up and be you.
Set daily intentions and give yourself permission to stick to them. You can start with one and add more once you have mastered the first intention like going to bed an hour earlier.
Get more sleep. Seems logical until you have to go to bed. I like to use the 5-minute journal and follow the 3, 2, 1 routine. No food 3 hours before bed, no screen time 2 hours before, and no water 1 hour before. Baths can be relaxing and so can reading a book while drinking a nice cup of your favorite hot tea.
Move your body so you can feel the wonders and energy outside of your body. Motion evokes emotions. We only get one body.
Fuel your body with food that makes you smile and is healthy. I bought a cute bowl that makes me smile and I use that to feel a happy sensation that helps me see that I am fueling my body with green vegetables and lean protein along with some healthy fat.
LOL. For my generation that means, “Laugh out loud” and for others, it means, “Lots of love.” Either way, we need to feel and do both. Watch a funny movie, remember, and share an old joke from kindergarten like “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!”
Be kind. To yourself and others. We are not cars and do not need to be fixed. We need to love ourselves and be kind, compassionate, and caring. We need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first, then we can pay it forward and break generational trauma.
Daily bucket filling cards. You can write these out on post-it notes, note cards, and blank colorful paper and tape them on the mirror in your home or load these or other statements on your phone in an app to view at work throughout the day. You can also consider using motivational quotes or apps that text you daily. Some examples:
“I got this.”
“I can do this.”
“I am worthy.”
”I am enough.”
"I have all the skills”.
Rest. When you start to feel tired, stop, and rest. The nap time, which we all fought when we were little, now allows us to refuel.
Say no. When you start saying no to others and things, you can say “yes” more often to YOU. Be your biggest champion.
Work/life balance. I stole this from a peer, “Work-life harmony.” Create a way to “clock out” from your day job and allow yourself to onboard into your personal life. Leave your phone in a place that supports you not checking email or work after you are off work.
85% done is better than 100% perfect, not done. Give yourself permission to complete something, let it go, and move on to other things after you celebrate what you did accomplish. We can put way too much pressure on ourselves by trying to be perfect.
Use your PTO. Schedule your personal time off. Enjoy your break time and time to unwind and participate in things that fill your energy bucket. Allow yourself to relax and come back to work and your day-to-day activities feeling refueled and refreshed.
Give yourself permission. I have shared this a few times during this post and I know it might sound weird to some: It is essential to understand that we can rewire our brains to create new neural pathways, so we can show up differently for ourselves and others.
We can learn to ride the waves of life and not be taken under by the stressors!
“It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.” Robert W. Service
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